Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Time for a change...

I'm stuck in a rut.

I can't seem to figure out how I got here, or, at the moment, how I can get out of it.  I'm frustrated, irritated and grumpy and, unfortunately, taking it out on those around me who love me most.

I think I'm having an age crisis.

I will be turning 29 in March - and yes, for those out there who think I'm just a spring chicken, I know this will sound winy and selfish - but I'm not where I thought I'd be at 29.  Yes, life gets in the way of the best laid plans, but seriously, this is now extending to everything in my life, even the things that used to bring me the most joy.

The worst part of the situation is that there is no end in sight.  I do the same thing every day just to get by - I go to work, I come home from work, I go to jujitsu, I spend my nights alone because Shane's working, no matter how much I clean, my house is a mess, I can't stay up to date with laundry - I'm basically a mess and this will continue into the foreseeable future.  I have nothing to look forward to and it's so depressing.

This is not how I thought I'd spend my first year of marriage, not how I thought I would enter my 30's, let alone how I thought I would spend the end of my 20's.

Anyway, I guess I need a change, but until I find the time, resources and ability to make it, I guess I might as well get used to it.

BAH. :(

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